Dreaming of You
by SiriusGate
Summary: Col. Carter embrasses her inner feelings about the relationships she has with people all around her.
1. A Day in the Life

Disclamer: I own none of the cannon characters, though I wish I did….

Summery: Col. Samantha Carter struggles with her inner self, and her unknown or unwanted feeling for people she knows.

Authors Note: Okay, if you couldn't guess this is very… interesting. I'd appreciate any comments (that's comments not flames…) if you find something not cannon or what. This takes place after Moebius 1 & 2.

Dreaming of you

The night wasn't warm, in fact, for the state of Nevada is was quite cool, yet she sat up in bed covered in sweat and fear present in her eyes mixed with the tenderness of something wonderful. She couldn't remember, her Samantha Carter, top of her class, secret military colonel, diplomat, she couldn't remember why. It must have been a dream from a past mission, something that had left an imprint on her psyche. Jolinar had left her memories of time with Martouf, maybe it was that… but something told her otherwise. Pete? Could it be him, her ex-finance still called her and she was close to him. No, not him either. But before she could think of anymore past relations her cobalt eyes closed and she smiled as she drifted off into sleep.

In the morning she awoke, skin clammy and her clothes plastered to her skin. It had happened again, the dream. The covers of her bed were pushed to the base in a pile of feathers and fabric. Over her chair at the table in the room was her mission jacket. Looking at it she felt a twinge in her body, a memory of sorts.

The water pelted her cold body and felt good because it was warm. Sam relaxed into the gentle embrace of the liquid, soap, and steam. The creak and the patter and swish of the water draining accompanied her as she stepped out and grabbed her fluffy white towel from the rack. It was warm from the wash and felt good against the pinpricks on her arms and chest.

The newspaper on the kitchen table held the headline "President announces that secrets may be revealed" She sighed, so he would come out or was it just tabloids speaking for the House. She knew many of the secrets he might reveal. The military had pissed off some aliens which were now on the run with all of their leaders on the run. They had saved the world from countless attacks and were now on exploration missions. They had humans in another galaxy working and living and now it was all possible for you! She laughed and sat down for her eggs and toast.

The office was her lab at the SGC, only 20 minutes from her little white home. No one knew what she did, as far as they were concerned she was an astrophysicist for the military looking at rocks coming in for a landing… Actually she did do that in a way, rocks with guns and tons of evil men with snakes in their heads. The weekly missions didn't help much with her neighborhood opinion. She was gone so people never saw her. The flowers stayed watered by some miracle of the weather and she saved them from desolation every time she stepped through that swirling pool of what ever it was. She was glad that the Gou'ald were not going to bother them for a while, the Replicators were gone, but her father was dead. Her smiled died and her eggs didn't taste good to her anymore. Jacob Carter had been the best man Sam had ever known. He was her true father after almost dying the first time. They had grown so close to each other, a tear slid down her cheek, she missed him terribly.

The ride to the command center underneath Cheyenne Mountain in the middle of Nevada was uneventful. There was a mission planned today for the Tok'ra home world to discuss with the high-council what action should be taken against the remaining system lords. The few that were left were killing each other off as she drove her motorbike down the Nevada highway. The rebellion that Teal'c had started was gaining strength and also helping to fight off the System Lords. The galaxy was becoming freer of evils. She couldn't help smiling in her helmet as she rode on.

The day under the mountain was uneventful. She worked on a science experiment, talked to Daniel and Jack, ate blue Jello, did a weapons check, checked out, went home. Dinner was lonely and she had thoughts of calling a friend to come over and talk to, but then realized that all her friends were in the military and probably had plans or were in another part of the galaxy. She was completely alone.

Night came. Nothing was on the television so she went into her room and changed. Her silk pajama's felt smooth against her skin as she slid onto her bed with a book in hand. She tried reading but gave up. Thinking didn't work and she soon drifted into a sleep which she wouldn't remember.


	2. Dreaming

_The room was warm, and something sweet touched her senses. A masculine smell, sweat and dirt filled her senses full. This man was wonderful. She could feel his weight on the bed. It was comfortable and she longed for him. She looked over and smiled at him. He was perfect, but his face was a little fuzzy in the night. She couldn't make out who exactly he was, but she had an idea. _

"_Mm…" Sam was content to be near this man, "This is wonderful," she murmered in his ear._

"_I know dear… I know," his voice was silky and smooth, it made her heart melt even more. The covers on the bed shifted and his weight came closer. Her body tingled in anticipation…_

The room was dark and she was clammy again. The dream faded so quickly but one thought remained, who was that man. It was one in the morning and she felt empty. Maybe sleep would bring that man back.

_The ship was drifting in space. She was alone and trapped. She had seen Daniel, Teal'c, and her father already and knew she was going crazy. Jack walked up behind her, "Hello Sam," _

_She turned, "Sir! I… Why are you here?"_

"_Please, Its Jack. I'm off duty." He smiled and slid down the wall and sat next to her, "Are you alright?"_

"_I am now…"_

_Martouf sat next to her in the Tok'ra halls. They talked of Jolinars memories. He looked over at her lovingly then leaned in and kissed her. He hadn't felt this way about the host for so long. She hadn't felt this way for a very long time._

_Pete's tear streaked face flashed in her mind. He loved her, but she still pined for someone else, he knew it and so did she. He had loved her with every fiber of his being and she must have cared at one point but sometime later she had forgotten. She couldn't be happy with him, so he had to let her go._

_Bursts of memories and longings passed though her thoughts, each man unique, each man loved in his own way. But the one person she felt the closest to was Jack… he was always there, as a shoulder to lean on. Supportive and caring. Deep down she knew that she loved him will all of her heart._


End file.
